魔法のスープ

MY MIND IS BLOWN

Blown up, up, up and away to the land of food heaven where cheese comes ready made from cows and steak grows on trees.

Ok so maybe those things are not available on earth, but something along those spectacular lines is! MAGICAL SOUP. 

soup: my face when.....

As you can imagine, soup in not usually anything to write home about, but as I am literally right now writing home about this one, you know it's special.


Here it is:

looks like a big bowl of dry vegetables right? WRONG!!! This is 'at home soup' and it is gloriously mythical in it's jesus like miracles. I was doubtful at the start about its powers but now i am a believer.

So when I first saw this soup bowl, I only picked it because the shop was so empty it looked like everybody had been disaster shopping and it was the only thing left. After shaking it about to try and make it look a bit more appetising and the contents just flopping about sadly inside, I then glumly took it to the till and prepared to be parted with my hard earned (lol hard-earned) yen.

Upon purchasing my lunch, I was asked the same question as every time you buy something in the convenience store; 'do you want it warmed up?'. I refused and casually mentioned that isn't the premise of soup be to be liquid and as such i'd need to put water in the pot before warming it wouldn't I. They laughed.

open soup pot. note the pale looking noodley thing in the top left.

So, slightly confused, I returned home with my box of flappy bits of vegetable off cuttings and opened it up. I then ummed and ahhed about whether to do as the shop worker said and directly microwave the pot water free, or go with my soup instincts and fill the bowl from the heated kettle.

I caved and lobbed it into the microwave as it was.

As it whirred and span around, smelling of smoke as my microwave usually does, I looked in through the door and shook my head in doubt and the future sadness that would come in the form of my extra dry ruined soup pot.

BUT, to my amazement, I opened the microwave door after 2 minutes and there it was........

SOUP!!!

This confused me even more. I was astounded at the magical water that had appeared suddenly moistened my vegetables. And even more astounded that I had soup at all in the first place. I was so confused that in fact I went and bought another soup box to try making it again with much more prior inspection. My conclusion from observations is as follows: the noodley bits I mentioned in passing earlier disappear when heated and in their place a butt load of water is created.

OR..... it is indeed magical soup.

ウオッウオッウオーーー！！

Tokyo game show

I went to the Tokyo game show a long long time ago, maybe even in September!! I genuinely just forgot to write about one of the coolest things I've been to while here in Tokyo. 
Before you all raise your eyebrows at the idea of spending an entire day at a show where people just play games and mill about: Heres a little fact file for you:

- Forty-two percent of all game players are women. In fact, women over the age of 18 represent a significantly greater portion of the game-playing population (37 percent) than boys age 17 or younger (13 percent).

So, i'm in a perfect demographic to have a valid reason to loiter around a selection of PS4 hardware (other consoles are available) and otherwise spend my day considering skill points and doritos (+4 flavour).

When I arrived at the event there was a mind boggling number of people waiting........

How to make a simple but long lasting queue for any day of the week:

- take one of the largest cities in the world

- add a pinch the fact that it is known for being technologically advanced

- combine with a pre-mixed packet of the largest anticipated game show in the world

- season to taste.

We were waiting for what seemed like 5.2 centuries, we even had to resort to using an umbrella as a parasol to avoid potential sunstroke.... Living in Tokyo you become used to standing on the subway for extended periods of time in the cosy hollow of a abnormally tall man's armpit, but the sheer amount of humans in one place at this show was astounding and the number did nothing but increase as the day progressed. It got to the stage where upon falling into the  flowing river of a crowd, you would be whisked away in the direction of the people current never to be seen again.


The highlight of the game show for me was watching the final fantasy XV trailers as the square enix booth. This is because final fantasy XIII and XIII-2 are the 3rd most played games of my life at over 90 hours a piece. (my top played game is Pokemon sapphire at 634 hours). 








The trailer for the new instalment looked AMAZING, I couldn't take any videos of this awesome sneak-peak because the crowd handlers would get angry and wave 'no photography' signs in your face, however despite this I did sneak a few photos anyway! The game itself is astoundingly beautiful and the team at square enix has really outdone themselves this time, it has made me want the game so much and it hasn't even got a release date yet. They have changed up the turn based paradigm mechanism we have been seeing in most of the recent instalments of the final fantasy game series, and I can't wait to see what effect this will have on the game play (and pretty much absorb into the TV screen for a few hundred hour not to be seen in a social context apart from when eating)

The new consoles also featured heavily at the show with 2 of the biggest stands being from Xbox and playstation respectively. They had workable demos of most release titles, so you could try out the PS4 and Xbox1 before their launch dates! The downside was, if you wanted to play one of the games you had to queue for over 100 minutes to get a ticket for 5 minutes demo.

Two of the games I really liked the look of were; 'deep down' and 'psycho break' (the latter has had a title change to something extra boring like 'Mr Arthritis's monotonous adventure' for UK release) These 2 games were being demonstrated on some of the biggest screens I've ever seen and the animals, dragons and people look almost as realistic as a film scene. It seems crazy that only 10 years ago I was admiring the  a bunch of grey, jerky, square ass pixels and enthusing about their high quality lifelike appearance. 


Of course no Japanese gaming and general nerd fest would be complete without a little cosplay!! If by some small chance you live at the bottom of the sea, or in a small winding crevasse and you haven't heard of cosplay; it means costume play. As in, people (mostly women) dress up as their favourite characters from animations and games and generally flaunt about in skimpy clothes while drooling gaping mouthed men take pictures of them. Here are three of my favourites!!

This is lighting and vanille from final fantasy. They look really like the characters its actually quite impressive. although I do predict that the vast majority of small asian girls wearing this costume would probably achieve the same level of similarity.

This dude is a ..... I have no idea. He was probably very happy with himself though as he was chosen to appear on the stage as one of the best cosplay artists at the show. The Japanese people also seemed to enjoy his look very much.

and this is Blanka. I spent a lot of time on street fighter 4 last year (millions and millions of days) and the character I play was this dude. The crazy Brazilian chlorophyll-coated, raised by electric eels monkey man and I had a great relationship as I electrocuted all the other players. When I saw this guy dressed up so awesomely, I chased him like a loon half way across the warehouse to take this picture. and I'm glad I did.

good time had by all.

thanks for reading! ill be back sooner than you think!!!

魔界から恋文は書きにくい

It's the weekend!! So, I went for a little excursion!


My mother often tells me that I should get some work done, but hey, haven't i got the rest of my life to work?


so keeping this in mind, Tokyo dome was our destination. Our intention, FUN :D


Tokyo Dome City is basically a big complex of fun stuff to do! You can go bowling, roller skating, karaoke, shopping and even ride a big-ass roller coaster!
They were even holding an Oktoberfest on the last day of November, (maybe they didn't get the hint on when to hold it). This meant we saw a bunch of people in lederhosen casually strutting their stuff in the chilling autumn air.





Ok before I tell you about my day I want to talk a little about my lunch, because it was served in a super awesome way! I ordered tomato risotto (yummage), but instead of coming on a boring normal plate, it instead had its own little fiery stove underneath, to keep my rice toasty warm. Yes, I did burn my mouth.

clever clever fire stovery

Also, look at this parfait:

I don't have anything to say about this, I just wanted to make you all jealous :D

pretty city theme park!

The main reason we went to Tokyo Dome City was, if you can believe it, not the risotto (again, yummmmage), but was in fact the roller coaster. Every day when we go to lesson and ascend in the lift to our classroom in the sky, I stare out of it's glassy glassy windows at the python of roller coaster tracks in the distance. And once I realised it was actually in mechanical working order and not just a very elaborate statue, we had to visit the site of it's origin. It even goes directly through a building!!

zoom, get out the way wall!

Sadly, after looking closely, it seemed my large western (and sexily curvaceous) body would in fact too large to fit in the roller coaster, as the seats seemed to be ergonomically suited to the frame of an 8 year old child.... so I didn't even try to ride it. Luckily there was plenty of other rides around too and I very much enjoyed going on the pirate ship. Was like being a child at flamingo land again. :) yey boats!

wheeeee!!! there's me in the middle!!!

The highlight of the day was however, the haunted house!!! *insert spoooooky ghost noise and lightning strike here* I was very excited to go to this part, as horror mazes are one of my favourite things to do, as well as actually a part of traditional Japanese culture. *citation needed*
Currently around Japan there are over 50 haunted houses or 'obakeyashiki' and currently two of the longest and voted scariest of these spooky attractions are located in Japan! The one at Tokyo Dome however is just a baby cousin of these monstrously horrific mazes but was still really creepy!

us still alive after the horror!

Increasingly horror houses in Japan give you a mission to complete while getting to the exit! The one we went in was called 'love letters from the spirit world', and the storey was as follows: 

Once a man fell in love with a witch and she in turn sent him love letters, the man's wife however found out about this and hid the letters before the man could ever receive them! In anger the witch came through to the mortal world and viciously murdered the man's wife and children and vengefully concealed the bodies, just as the wife had hidden the witches notes of affection. She then wrote one last letter....

The gaps are the locations where the bodies are hidden, you have to find them and complete the letter!

So, letter in hand, in we went!

As you may imagine the house was horrific, if you add up all the distance that I jumped and was in the air during that time, you could probably reach Saturn.

The worst part was probably the fact that all the doors in the house were closed and you had to open them yourself in order to continue forward. This meant you couldn't see what was in the next room or even predict when something would jump out in your face, as such my progression through the rooms full of faceless dolls and flickering TV screens was extremely cautious, but this approach was not wise and bit me square in the bum.

The reason? As I was so tentative in my wanderings I managed to set off the same motion sensor three times...... It went a little like this...

You know the saying:

fool me once, shame on you,
fool me twice, shame on me,
fool me thrice.... there isn't even a phrase for this line, I must just be an idiot. *sob*


I also managed to stuff up completing the love letter due to the fact that writing Japanese in a LIFE OR DEATH situation when dead children's bodies are falling on you willy nilly is surprisingly very difficult.

So instead of writing 'behind the mirror' [かがみ - kagami] I accidentally wrote 'involuntary nocturnal tooth grinding' [はがみ - hagami]

- and, instead of a 'in a well' [いど - ido], I wrote 'in my intention' [いと - ito]

- and, for 'inside the cupboard', I just wrote [こばーど - kobaado], which isn't even a real word.

So sorry dude, you put the responsibility of avenging your family in my hands, but it looks like the bodies of your wife and children will never be found. As when the police find the letter and take it in as evidence they will think it was written by either an incompetent and illiterate moron or an insane child.

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食べ続けることに弱いか？

Oh the piggery, the hoggery, the hogpiggery!

The diet outlined in the following blog was attempted by professionals, do not under any circumstances attempt any of the meal consumptions featured at home.

First came, the holy plague of cake. 

This could have been more disastrous for my ass-size than it was! Mainly because I wasn't having a cake day... BUT had it been a cake day, then this would have been the place to go! Sweets paradise. 90 minutes of unhindered, unregulated, unstoppable cake hunger plundering.

Here is the smorgasbord of cakealicious tastes!

live by the cake pirate code: TAKE WHAT YOU WANT, GIVE NOTHING BACK!

I decided to focus my all-you-can-eat stomach power on the cheesecake section, sampling 3 types of squishy dessert. While my friend instead stuffed the bonanza of chocolate cakes into his face. 

'this one is squishy, this one is squishy....
this one is squishy.... ooo crunchy'

<---- This is how I eat my food every day, no need for chopsticks or even forks. Just bypass the cutlery all together and chomp direct off the plate.

Irish green      ------>

melon drink just for a moral boost against the brown brown deluge of future indigestion. 

We didn't do terribly well at the value for money via consumption theory (the more cake you eat the less it costs per piece), I managed the grand total of the 3 slices you see above >___< maybe we need more cake training.....

After this day came the day of reckoning, the apocalypse of burger.

All. you. can. eat. burger king. I can think of nothing better or worse. The event was called 'BiKingu', which is a pun on the word 'bikingu', which comes from the word 'viking'.... because vikings used to feast a lot right? <--- (actually true origin) It cost the price of a large whopper meal, and then, for half an hour you can just return to the till with your empty food wrappers and they will replace the meal for free. 3 mere mortals went to take on this mammoth challenge of eating value into fast food, but only one could be the winner.

The competitors:

Sam Burgerton

Known in the eating world as the one who can conquer all chicken, this burger eating task would be no easy hillock to climb for Sam Burgerton. The high beef content and the high likelihood of pickles could be the downfall of this otherwise professional junk food vacuum.

Ruadhan O' Throwaway

Is there anybody out there who can match this man's penchant for pizza? NO! The world better move over as one extra large dominoes pepperoni passion is coming right at you. Burgers too have a base of carbohydrates, but the filling volume is higher than that of the humble pizza. Will this be Throwaway's undoing???

Karan Yamacdonalds

Karan Yamacdonalds is rumoured to have an inflatable extra stomach on her elbow that was hidden at birth. Maybe this gift is the reason behind her skill in the sweet and desserts consumption sphere. Known as the girl who became over 60% candyfloss and survived, will the savoury nature of this task bring a halt to this otherwise talented woman's chewing?








AND THE MOMENT YOUVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!!!


- In 3rd place, with a pitiful count of only 1.5 Burger King Big Whoppers is:

Ruadhan O' Throwaway

'Oh top of the morning to ye, I had the craick, and I ate 2 large meals including chips, and I don't even like whoppers, so I won really.'

- In an infinitely better 2nd place with 2 whole burgers consumed is:

Sam Burgerton

'Dam it! I wish I had a larger belly in which to store delicious burgers then I could be a better economical value junk food nommer.'

- And so, that only leaves one competitor! In 1st place with a total of 3 burgers and sides is:

Karan Yamacdonalds

'Oh i'm so proud to have beaten those other two highly skilled eaters for this accolade, however now I feel very sick... guess ill just drink a load of plum wine, that will help won't it?'

And with that I concludes my supplementary food related blog, hope to be back with more health ruining feasts in the future!

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冬が来ている

Autumn is the season for autumn festivals. You heard it here first.

Tree outside my dorm going colour crazy

Basically the leaves are changing, and everybody here is making a fuss over the autumn colours. But what I do have to say is; now I see why! Instead of the trees just losing all will to live and using this new lack of vigour to turn a boring shade of brown. As they do in England.

Instead, the entire spectrum of warm colours slowly spreads its tendrils across japan from north to south, turning one tree at a time a vibrant shade of red, until they are all sufficiently autumnal. 

Japanese people love this colour change (as well as all other seasonal differences) and have a multitude of festivals to celebrate the fact it's no longer summer. These festivals often involved people walking around for a long time carrying a shrine and shouting, they also often ring bells which clink and clank a lot. I came across one of these processions to my surprise as I exited a shop in Shinjuku a few days ago. For a few moments I got all blended up in the swathe of people all garbed for the occasion and snapped a little footage of the event to show you guys!

                            Do we have a reason to celebrate the loss of our countries warmness?

Yes actually, yes we do! (picture taken by the lovely Joe Face) Nagoya leaves

tinsel disco, bitches!

Despite this, it's actually still really warm. And MAN am I enjoying it!! This is my first ever winter away from the UK.. the country where the temperature never warms; it just reaches a plateau of chilly for the 'summer' then drops into a chasm of frost around October, never to rise again. *sob* 

But here, I've got ma christmas tinsel decorations up in my room reflecting the bright morning sunlight like a disco ball, my window is open, and.... I DONT HAVE HYPOTHEMIA (or a inoperative hypothalamus....) 

The general Japanese populous also keeps looking at me weirdly for swagglily breezing down the streets / train platforms / corridors in what can only be described as summer attire. (As i frequently tell my mother, 'everyday shorts day')... 



So, weather report, at the moment it is;

*Faffs about on computer weather app*

about, 13 degrees celsius!!!!!!!!!!!

WAIT!!! Before you all shiver and draw your blankets up tight around your tiny freezing faces, remember, it is almost December and it is also nearly 10 at night! In the day it can get to a toasty 18! In comparison to the depressingly dank -1 degree (dire) or whatever it is in the (damp deluge of the) UK right now, I'm on a tropical beach!! and that means i'll be wearing shorts and t-shirts for the next few weeks at least. 

BUT, I have heard, that soon, winter is coming.... and I'm from the north so I should know. *chilly breeze* 

I'm telling you, just don't lose your head about it.

In prep for this oncoming disaster, I'm gonna go get a hot water bottle and snuggle up to all the tasty english food my family sent me in a care package last week. Come here you sexy skittles!!!

yummerty snackings.

I'm still Sam, and this is always my blog, telling you about the freshest shit direct from inside the toilet. 

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デルプに気がつく

I really wish I'd post more...

Primary wall stare face, though this is more of a ceiling stare.

I say this because sometimes I am just too damn lazy to even type and as such I just stare at my walls and I haven't even mentioned much about my primary reason for being in Japan on here. (which are my lessons!)

So contrary to this blogs theme of general galavanting and documenting the bits that most people won't be completely disinterested in. I actually DO have real life university here... all be it only 3 days a week.... hmm

For your inner patriot, i'm going recap a selection of moments from my first week of Japanese lesson that make people from England look REALLY clever.

So, its first lesson and due to my lucky clicking on multiple choose questions and habit of talking myself into holes  superb Japanese language ability I am in swag class 3-2, which is despite every textbook suggesting we are 'progressing from intermediate', is in fact an advanced class (woo me!). Anyway, I go in and take a seat and we are asked to do a little self introduction, so, i'm gleefully thinking; 'right, I've got this one in the bag' as I bask in the ocean of memories of my awesome self introduction I did in first year. Then the voice of my class mates intrudes on my mental bask like a slimy eel... the reason, they are awesome. One by one they yabber for what seems like an eternity in fluent Japanese and I suddenly realise that my self introduction sounds about the same level as one from a toddler.

The moment approaches and all heads turn to listen to the selection of interesting and insightful details about myself I have ready to explain. Heres an almost accurate representation of how it went:

Moving swiffffftly on, I want to say a bit about my recent thoughts about the Japanese counting system with the help of our internet friend the amazing and soft Pusheen!!

SUPER QUICK BASIC EXPLANATION OF COUNTERS: In Japanese objects are grouped into categories by their physical properties; long and cylindrical, flat and thin, RECEPTACLE, and so on rather than by what they actually are.... This difference means in english, if we want to count for example, sticks of wood, we would say '1 stick, 2 sticks, 3 sticks'. In Japanese we would say '1 long and cylindrical, 2 long and cylindrical, 3 long and cylindrical'... This means some sentences come out very odd sounding in direct translation, such as: 猫を三匹飼っている - I have 3 small animal of cat!

So, the rule regarding animal counters is; small animals are 匹 [hiki] and large animals are 頭 [tou]. 

Here are some examples of things you count with 匹.

Cats

Dogs

Hamsters

Pokemon

And, here are some examples of things you count with 頭:

Horses

Bears

TIGERS

T-rexes

Keeping the theme of the sizes of the animals in your head.... heres where the issue lays in my mind... What the moose happened here:

using the counter 匹 you count....

Lions‽ ‽ 

and using 頭 you count.....

Butterflies‽‽  

Well that makes a whole bucket of sense.... So obviously I got it wrong on my first lesson to a symphony of sighs.... I'm now affirming my place as a preschooler by proving I can't count.. not even to eleventy four. (or schwifty five) Thanks Japan.

NEWS FLASH!!!

Hello, this is just a little extra I wanted to shove on the end... On a more serious note i've seen some posters around recently and it seems that it could be the case that my favourite round faced cat has gone missing.... I wasn't sure what the posters meant exactly, but they had a picture of him on them and a number, plus I haven't seen him about in a while..... It's this little guy:

I've named him Ser Jamie of LannisPAWt, and he's really soft and fat. So, if you see his cute little tabby face around, please let me know and even if you stole him while drunk i'll take him home anonymously. 

I've been Sam, and this is my blog. NOW GET OUT. ;)

Pictures of cute cute Pusheen belong to Pusheen.com

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