ROUND 2!!
I'll start this post on a positive note!! .
Real life food /rē(ə)l līf fo͞od/ : Food which has not been made by means of solely a kettle, microwave or a combination of the two. Must contain vegetables and not be burnt to a cinder. (some charring is acceptable)
Here are some examples of Not-real food:
 |
And now, in contrast (as to look EVEN MORE spectacular) here is my feast-in-a-bowl. The magnificent Gyuudon. A japanese style dish made of rice topped in seasoned beef and onion. In my case i've also added broccoli to fulfil the vegetable requirements of 'real-food' and also an egg because... why not?
 |
| MMMMMMMM..... |
After that tasty looking picture I bet you're all thinking, 'how can this post possibly take a turn.... a person who cooks THAT well will obviously have a perfect life of sunflowers and rainbows'. Now let me assure you, I do have sunflowers and rainbows in my life..... all be it only when I see them through tiredness induced daydreams on a random patch of street after my contact lens has fallen out.
Oooo i'm giving stuff away, tantalising insights into the story that is yet to come........
Ok, Ok, here's a lowdown of how the other night went... HIT IT:
Basically the night started off really well, I went to the station to pick up my home friends I know from University and also managed to collect another random guy I was asked to pick up (despite not knowing what he looked like) by shouting his name and seeing who looked around...
Then it started to go downhill, my friends (namely Matt) is apparently notoriously awful at beer pong and as such was completely and utterly drunk as a pirate before we even reached the club.
The club itself was free to get in, so obviously it was a grimy dirt hole of grub squashed into the side of a building. To top it off they also had a 'drink in hand' policy in order to make back all the profits they lost letting us in with no charge. This means basically if you didn't keep buying drinks all night they could just pop over and kick you out, and when drinks are 900 yen for an alchopop, it turns out to be an expensive club after all!
 |
| The club was called 'Gaspanic', a name of finesse and charm. |
It seemed however my ploys of 'keep the empty bottle and sip from it sporadically' and 'indicate at a random glass on the table whenever the staff come past' seemed to work and I only spent the equivalent of about 10 pounds overall. *sneaky drink ninja*. It may also have been partly due to the fact that our group was huge and the only people there dancing, so if we had left the club would have consisted of bar staff and the resident loitering weirdoes.
 |
| Was good to see people in Tokyo (before they decided to sleep on the floor) |
Then, it struck. The Matt Gaarder problem.
So, both of my friends fell asleep in the club on the table, and being the nice nice person I am, we managed to heave them up and out of the club. And what repayment do I get for my angelic saintlike behaviour? You guessed it, one decided to be sick right in the middle of the street. Ew. In fact i'm disgusted now writing this.
tautologically at 1am in the morning, the night is still in it's infancy, yet the last train has already sped away laughing, leaving us stranded in the streets of Shibuya. Now in this situation any normal person would have got directly into a taxi and gone home, but instead my friend decided the most logical idea would be to lay down on the floor of the magnificent and beautiful Shibuya crossing and fall asleep for 2 hours.
The first train home leaves at 5:30am, so for over 4 hours I sat next to the collapsed and crumpled frame of Matt, and explained to the countless passer-bys that he IS in fact, despite appearances, absolutely fine and they could continue their very early morning wander without worry.
Let us now remind ourself of the cause behind my loss of contact lens. (I lost my contact lens because my eye became so dry from sitting in the open air it would non longer remain in my eye socket.)
 |
| Hobo. |
Also my bum went numb. (very upsetting)
I cheered up a bit around 5am when the sun started to rise, and another of my friends came along and threw 1 yen coins at the sleeping blob of Matt like he was a real life hobo. He probably kept the coins..... (they worth 0.6p)
So, at 5:30, as started before the train thankfully returned and plonked me back at my house just in time for breakfast....Which i'll have you know was definitely NOT made of 'real life food'.
Peace out mofos.
No comments:
Post a Comment