Oh the piggery, the hoggery, the hogpiggery!
The diet outlined in the following blog was attempted by professionals, do not under any circumstances attempt any of the meal consumptions featured at home.
This could have been more disastrous for my ass-size than it was! Mainly because I wasn't having a cake day... BUT had it been a cake day, then this would have been the place to go! Sweets paradise. 90 minutes of unhindered, unregulated, unstoppable cake hunger plundering.
Here is the smorgasbord of cakealicious tastes!
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| live by the |
I decided to focus my all-you-can-eat stomach power on the cheesecake section, sampling 3 types of squishy dessert. While my friend instead stuffed the bonanza of chocolate cakes into his face.
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| 'this one is squishy, this one is squishy.... this one is squishy.... ooo crunchy' |
<---- This is how I eat my food every day, no need for chopsticks or even forks. Just bypass the cutlery all together and chomp direct off the plate.
Irish green ------>
melon drink just for a moral boost against the brown brown deluge of future indigestion.
We didn't do terribly well at the value for money via consumption theory (the more cake you eat the less it costs per piece), I managed the grand total of the 3 slices you see above >___< maybe we need more cake training.....
All. you. can. eat. burger king. I can think of nothing better or worse. The event was called 'BiKingu', which is a pun on the word 'bikingu', which comes from the word 'viking'.... because vikings used to feast a lot right? <--- (actually true origin) It cost the price of a large whopper meal, and then, for half an hour you can just return to the till with your empty food wrappers and they will replace the meal for free. 3 mere mortals went to take on this mammoth challenge of eating value into fast food, but only one could be the winner.
The competitors:
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| Sam Burgerton |
Known in the eating world as the one who can conquer all chicken, this burger eating task would be no easy hillock to climb for Sam Burgerton. The high beef content and the high likelihood of pickles could be the downfall of this otherwise professional junk food vacuum.
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| Ruadhan O' Throwaway |
Is there anybody out there who can match this man's penchant for pizza? NO! The world better move over as one extra large dominoes pepperoni passion is coming right at you. Burgers too have a base of carbohydrates, but the filling volume is higher than that of the humble pizza. Will this be Throwaway's undoing???
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| Karan Yamacdonalds |
Karan Yamacdonalds is rumoured to have an inflatable extra stomach on her elbow that was hidden at birth. Maybe this gift is the reason behind her skill in the sweet and desserts consumption sphere. Known as the girl who became over 60% candyfloss and survived, will the savoury nature of this task bring a halt to this otherwise talented woman's chewing?
AND THE MOMENT YOUVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!!!
- In 3rd place, with a pitiful count of only 1.5 Burger King Big Whoppers is:
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| Ruadhan O' Throwaway |
'Oh top of the morning to ye, I had the craick, and I ate 2 large meals including chips, and I don't even like whoppers, so I won really.'
- In an infinitely better 2nd place with 2 whole burgers consumed is:
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| Sam Burgerton |
'Dam it! I wish I had a larger belly in which to store delicious burgers then I could be a better economical value junk food nommer.'
- And so, that only leaves one competitor! In 1st place with a total of 3 burgers and sides is:
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| Karan Yamacdonalds |
'Oh i'm so proud to have beaten those other two highly skilled eaters for this accolade, however now I feel very sick... guess ill just drink a load of plum wine, that will help won't it?'
And with that I concludes my supplementary food related blog, hope to be back with more health ruining feasts in the future!
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