これはハロウィーン、楽しいハロウィーン

Pumpkins scream in the dead of night!

It's time for a spoooooookey halloween blog!

As per usual I did a variety of things for halloween, the reason for this is mostly because i'm a massive child and love spooooky pumpkins and running about dressed as a skeleton.  I decorated my room with stickers of ghosts and banners of the colour orange, I went to parties in costume and face paint and I ate spooky shaped chocolate, the only thing I didn't do was carve a pumpkin :( This is the first year when such a gourd-less tragedy has occurred and the sky-high prices of vegetables here in Japan is entirely to blame for I could not get a carve-able sized pumpkin for less than around £40 - £50 in Tokyo. The sadness.

Kicking it all off

I was so eager to dress up as a skellybob for this halloween, I practiced my face paint days before, and wandered around in my onesie many a time before the first party day. I had decided to be a skelly this time around as for the previous few years I had gone safe with the zombie outfit of 2010, so I thought I should switch it up a bit. I also couldn't really justify bringing a bag of cloth rags held together win pins and bandages all the way to Tokyo.

The first party I attended was the international student gathering held by my university. This meant it was nice and exclusively tucked away in my campus and was really friendly and chilled. There was free drinks, hashbown-esque potato triangles and sticks with chocolately almonds on the end. This however was no replacement for cocktail sausages and plates of salt and vinegar french fries crisps......maybe my future career path lies in catering Japanese parties in the style of a shitty english buffet. (Or maybe i'm just being a grumpy llama due to the fact I couldn't actually eat any of the free grub as it would ruin my face paint i'd meticulously applied for the 3 hours preceding the party...)

A worthy winner??

Amongst the food and friendly atmosphere, I also managed to talk to a variety of new Japanese people from my department in the university. Sadly I forgot everybody's name almost instantly and accidentally told a few of the girls I lived in a supermarket. But aside from that, the Japanese language practice was good!! Live (in a supermarket) and learn right?

At the end of the evening there was also a costume contest! I didn't win. SADNESS. But! one of my friends came third, and I felt a little bit of victory there as I had helped make her costume using my super duper GCSE level arts and crafts abilities.  The winner of the contest was in the end a guy who had, instead of a costume, just attended the party with bits of cabbage selotaped to his body. He then spent the night waving around what remained of the cabbage in people faces..... And no, this is not the most ridiculous costume to win a prize to be mentioned in this blog...

High school musical once told me, 'we're all in this together, once we know, that we are, we're all stars, and we see that.'

Party, Ultra Edition.

The main party was a bit like a sumo wrestler, big, loud, and not ashamed to flaunt it. It was time, for AGEHAAAAAA!!!

More like a concert than a night club, this venue was so big it had to be built a bus ride away from Tokyo. We were all super excited for this night after hearing so many good things about the Ageha in our time here, and we weren't disappointed. The place had about a million dance floors, heated outdoor terraces and seating areas, a pool section and even a food court (which even sold the good old clubbing staple food, the kebab.

Looks quite cool though!

What made this night extra special was the fact that everybody there, who wasn't a massive bore, had dressed up in halloween costume. In England when halloween rolls around many people grimace and apply slightly darker eyeshadow than usual, or wear an unfashionable hat they got 5 birthdays ago in an attempt at a 'costume'. But here people really seem to enjoy the craziness of all hallows eve and there was hardly a poor-effort costume in sight. This made the fact that I had under estimated the Japanese enthusiasm and desire for fancy dress, and instead of wearing my onesie again had drawn a rib cage on a t-shirt (using the previously mentioned arts and crafts prowess), thinking 'it'll do... nobody will go all-out in a club, surely...?' yet more obvious.... as I stood between a man wearing only speedo sized pants and a horse head, and a sexy Pikachu on a lead.....

Welcome to Japan everybody!! 

Halloween should always be a show. And when a show is needed, Japan doesn't do things by halves... There was mirror images of me  scantily clad air hostess / bunny dancers in heels longer than their skirts, a variety of live DJs (my favourite was Mitomi Tomoko), and a massive costume contest with a prize over over 3000 pounds!!!  However, only in Japan can a man with a toilet on his head and loo roll pants, thrusting vigorously with a plunger on his crotch and a loo brush in the air, win said 3000 pounds to the tune of 'what does the fox say?' D:

Thanks to Gus for the video and Ageha for the photos.

Extra!!: 5 [店の名前はおかしい]

JUST A SHORT ONE!

Thing's in Japan often have weird names. Often this is a result of bad translations into english, but sometimes this gets taken to a whole new level. When the bad english is in massive text on the front of a shop or on a massive advert the mistake is in the open air for all to see and me to giggle at!

Recently I have been taking note of these embarrassing shop names more and more on my daily trundle around tokyo and I thought i'd share a few of my favourites with you!




AT NUMBER 3!!! As rabbit.

This name sounds a lot like 'ass rabbit' which in the Uk would may imply the shop may sell a certain bottom related rampant product..... instead it sells clothes.




AT NUMBER 2!!!! Bagel and..... bagel.

I wonder what this shop sells? Oh good, I'm glad they clarified their products offerings under their store name or I would never have known! They DO look yummy though. 




AND FINALLY AT NUMBER 1!!!  Titty and Co

*immature giggle* I don't think this even needs explaining..... boobies. ( . Y . )


HAHA, thanks for reading..... ;)

体は４分の３キャラメルコーン

Getting organised


The other day I went to buy my textbooks.... it was SO easy! I don't know why i'm even mentioning this seeing as is was so uneventful. The shop I went to was really nice and cool, and it was also run by the university! It sold all sorts of stuff from ice lollies to t-shirts and I even bought myself a smattering of Meiji university related products. This included but was not limited to a super cool uni jumper and a little Meiji owl figure to hang off my bag!

My textbooks look super cool but slightly difficult .. some of the titles of the reading exercises are almost hellish in their 'why is this even here?' factor. The most -___- of these so far is 'health neurosis undermines the mind and body'<--- this title makes me sob....

I'm a textbook model.

While we are on the topic of books, I bought a bunch of magazines and stuff to read... back issues and such, this mean they were so cheap! only 100 yen (70p) each. The main type of magazine I bought are japanese 'fashion'  magazines... this means they are full of pictures of people wearing giant pink fluffy hats with ears and shiny plastic trousers posing like contortionists. Very amusing to read how this is fashion.... in fact i might just buy said fluffy hat. The other type of magazine I bought was a music magazine! The language in this magazine is more complicated so I haven't really read it yet BUT IT HAS MY FAVOURITE BAND ON THE FRONT... this makes it ok right?

KERAAAAA and One OK Rock!

Anybody who has read this far.....BOOK OFF!!! No no no! don't leave the page, it's the name of the book store! The home of 立ち読み (stand and read), This means exactly what you would expect, people go to the bookstore, take the most recent issue of their favourite manga and just read it then and there. 

If i just stand here, I don't have a pay... right?

On my day of shopping I also made the drastic mistake of trying the super delicious and highly addictive CARAMEL CORN. My favourite flavour of this delightful treat is basically like a peanutty wotsit, but instead of cheese there is only caramel. The main problem with these snacks is the price. A MASSIVE bag is only 70p and as such I bought loads and shoved them all in my face like a crazy hamster. In fact I have worked out using maths and angles and 3 calculators that I am now indisputably made 2 thirds from caramel corn. (give or take 2 thirds...........)

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil!!!

So I have to end my blog here as I'm just going to the shop....... definitely not to buy more corn... IM NOT ADDICTED.

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HULKに成ろう！！！

What a complete banker........


I want to cover a few points in this post, filling in the gaps about my boring life as a budding professional form completer... The other thing I intent to blab on about endlessly again is.... yet more trainy frolics. (I know you all SO look forward to train posts.) and it's definitely not like this....

So to start off on a more boring note than trains (so you'll think the next part is comparatively interesting) this part is about *drum roll please*

..........

bank accounts!!!

Ok, Ok, I get it... you want interesting content. I'll get to that soon! But for now I'm still happy I managed to fill in 6000 (give or take 5996) very complicated bank related forms entirely in Japanese! AND, I didn't even make one mistake. People all around me were making exasperated noises and getting replacement form after from. BUT as the amazingly skilled form filler I am, my correctly used ball point pen ink was glistening in the glow of the fluorescent light ready to be approved much before many of the room had finished even one form.

But not without some confusion along the way...

So, from one thrilling topic to another!!.... All aboard!! It's time for departure!! First class is situated in the first two carriages and a trolley will be passing through the isles as we journey through the blog paragraph of a lifetime. 

Trains part two. 

My theory is as follows: I think the station and the trains are the crossroads where all the weird, eccentric, frantic and bored people of Tokyo clash in a scattering of suits and briefcases. 

                     - Sam Burton

Face of utmost horror.

Today I was waiting for my train, (a rare occurrence in a country where it is possible to be in a train traffic jam due to their frequency.) So as I was tutting and sighing to myself at the huge span of 2 minutes extra I was being forced to delay my daytime activities, I gazed across at the opposite platform where the announcement that the train door were closing was just being made. At this moment a man who had just entered the station made a face of utmost horror... He then started to not only began to run towards the train but to take the stairs 3 at a time. As he reached the train the doors had almost closed, but, instead of resigning to his fate like a normal person, he instead grabbed the closing doors and amid the cries of 'お客様、やめてください！！’ (STOP please Mr customer), proceeded to become the incredible hulk and wrestle the doors back open as to board the train.

Even though the train he boarded was the 12:42 and the next one was at 12:43. 

I hope he comes back......I could use a hand with those pesky trains.

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全地球の生き物は虫

It's time.....

to face.....

THE INSECT!

Japan is full of bugs. So much so in fact that you wouldn't be blamed for just staying indoors 24/7, with your feet of the floor and all the windows shut. There's crawly ones, slimy ones, flappy ones and even jumpy ones, each annoying and creepy in their own way.

But I think my 3 least favourite that i've seen so far are as follows!



3. Cicada　セミ

These horrible tree bugs are the somewhat iconic sound of summer in Japan. That is if you enjoy the relaxing background music of buzz saw crossed with dial up internet. They live underground for most of the year as mini child bugs and then when the heat of the suns rays warms their manky bodies they pop up to the surface to annoy everybody and shed skin everywhere.

Damn am I getting fat?

2. Stink bug　カメムシ

These bugs are like my sister, green and eat rotting food out of bins. Well not just bins actually, any delectable piece of mouldy garbage is like a 5 star restaurant for this green buggers. So basically they have a hoover on the front of their faces and suck all the extra juicy rot juice from inside the food and this sits in their belly for the next forever. This means if you squash them or even sometimes just shove them off your items all the stink comes out and contaminates the immediate vicinity with lingering grossness.

look at it, pretending to be a normal bug.

1. Giant hornet　スズメバチ
Quickly everybody, get indoors, get into the bunker, hide your budgerigar, the hornets are coming and they are ANGRY!!! In summery, these are the worst; so bad I even named my blog after them. (But now, I am saddened deep down into my core to tell you.... I saw a hornet. My blog title is redundant. For shame.) Fact is, these stingy monstrosities live all over Japan and this includes in random bushes around Tokyo, as such is there prevalence they claim over 40 lives a year. But as if the sting isn't bad enough, if you catch them on a day where they went to the shop but it was out of milk, they also spray you in the eyes with flesh melting toxins... signal the rest of the swarming hive to hunt you down. You don't get stung by these, you get stabbed.

He mad.

EXTRA CONTENT: I also don't like it when i'm casaully walking down the road in the glow of midday, and all of a sudden the sky goes dark as the sun is put into eclipse by the gigantiuan wingspan of what I call 'demon-hummingbird-flapper'. I call it as such because google did not provide me a name, so we can only presume its lack of internet existence is because it came STRAIGHT FROM HELL! It's body is fully black and when it flies directly into my face unexpectedly I swear it's wings have power akin to a jet engine or two. Ok, maybe i'm exaggerating a little... but when I see a big-ass bug, this is still me:

I'm just going to go weld my windows shut. Bye guys!

お金 --> 好き

NOGROPEY

It seems people in Japan no longer care about perverts... or else the perverts no longer care about putting effort into their work because I have not seen one lady have her bum groped on a train.

According to my first year textbook, this was apparently a frequent occurrence in Japan and as such the lack of groping has made me somewhat disappointed or else dismayed that a supposedly factual book could lie to me in such a way. (see below for accurate snapshot of said textbook)

gropey grope

The ladies only carriages too seem to now be a thing of the past, apparently there are too many people wanting to commute every morning that it would be unfair that the ladies get a train carriage all to themselves to avoid the lustrous hands of lonely office workers... it seem creepy men have decided that room on the train > ladies bottoms  and instead everybody of all genders (man woman or otherwise) just crams themselves into luggage racks or wherever they can fit.

Nevertheless, the signs remain, reminding us of a better time, a time when men were interested in ladies and not just the extra centimetre of space they can use to play 'puzzle dragon' in on the tube. (in actuality i'm glad my peachy bottom has remained ungroped, I'm just grumpy that I can't have extra room on the train anymore *sob*)

Those were the days.

This post is going to be sporadic, there is absolutely no segue here just a random jump in topic. Here goes; we played that game with the sticky notes, where you tape them to your head.

Who am I?

You know the one, where you have to guess which celebrity / tangentially famous cartoon character / communist dictator's name is written on the post-it by asking yes / no questions.  (for example you say 'Am I Mufasa?' and i say 'yes! that was a quick game....')

Well here's what I got: 

Sigh.

Those who know me will know that this was very irksome. Even so far as I decided to throw my 1 direction stress cube at the floor a few times. (edit: I just read this back and it sounds like i'm a massive fangirl who has such strong preferences for specific donkey boy donkey band members and gets emotional regarding them... TO CLARIFY: no. This is not, has never been nor will ever be the case. I'd rather slowly burn all of my possessions one by one while painting a football field of grass pink by the blade) In spite of this annoyance, I managed to use my supreme skills of guessery to guess the name in a matter of turns whereas my opponents were not so lucky. One of them, despite being told that the character on his postit was not only 'dinosaur big', but also a gay, singing TV character, did not guess it was Barney the dinosaur. 

The last completely unrelated point, come in the form of ending on a high note. The other day in Shinjuku, I got (basically) free sushi! This was because it seems the cashiers here in Japan can't count to 3 correctly and instead mistake it for the number 4. This addition stupidity is all the more ridiculous seeing that it is policy here to count out the change bills in front of the customer to prevent mistakes.... and he still got it wrong.

So basically, in the sushi place, the food goes round and round in circles and I haphazardly grab at my food before it escapes around the corner once again. Despite my chasm of a stomach however, I only bought around 1000yen worth of sushi >_<... after filling up the rest of my belly space by drinking the free green tea by the barrel I then sloshed my way to the till to pay the bill. The cost turned out to be 960yen and I paid with a 5000yen note.... I then received 4940yen change.....so I'll definitely be going there again!!!! That is unless they remember me as the sneaky foreign change thief..... My conclusion is; I think the sushi lord was smiling on me that day, thanking me for consuming delicious salmon, or else it was definitely ... SUSHI O CLOCK!!

It's sushi time!

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ビーバ メキシコ！

Tuna pepper.

Today has been a bit of an up, down day.... maybe I'll serve this blog in the fashion of a compensating restaurant ... good crisp starter, then all the scraggly end bits for the main, finishing with a yummy dessert...


The prix fixe starter choice of today will be a lovely helping of sifting through my course booklet... FINALLY! There's not a great deal to say about this, other than the fact that the person who wrote my timetable was obviously in some way closely related to a gorilla or some sort of in-advanced variety of sloth....

It seems to me that people in every country have chronic administration deficiency despite the fact it seems to be all that the staff are employed for... But anyway after much annoyance and several trips to the office I have finally decided on a whole ONE class I can take this year. WAHOO!!


So now for the buffet style sloppy mash of a main course, the typhoon and soy sauce incident. Even if this disaster got given a name by the papers (like all the worst atrocity commiters do), it would most likely still be dire as the water you drained from said sloppy mash... but here's what I'm thinking; 'THE WINDY BROWN WHOOSHER!!' <--- snappy right?? 

In fact.... I seem to recall an article of a very similar name...... OH HERE IT IS! What a coincidence......

Where is the soy sauce you previously mentioned I hear you ask. Well, in my rush to save the remaining socks I managed to knock a tiny bottle over (the ones you get free in sushi boxes), right onto my almost-as-freshly-laundered bed sheet. -_-

And finally to finish from the a la carte sitting comes the mexican feast. 

As you may or may not know.... (i'm presuming the latter) recently it was mexican independence day. This meant it was time for the resident sombrero lover in our dormitory to organise a mexico themed party in the lobby! (obviously I went dressed for the occasion...... ok I drew on a moustache...)

Which is the real mexican?

But anyway it was really nice and the guys here made real life mexican food  not just nachos and cheese, called chiles capeados (peppers with tuna in) and chilaquiles (like doritos?)... 

Yummy!!

Obviously no mexican party is complete without the resident cactus based beverage being on offer. In fact there was almost 3 large bottle of tequila just waiting to be consumed... I actually decided to not be a weak little seal and try the whole, 'salt, tequila, lemon' thing and my only previous experience of this drinking 'ritual' was involving lidl's finest tequila and some Haribo tangfastics, needless to say it was not overly yummy. BUT this time it wasn't actually half bad..... the random other flavours of sour and salt manage to mask the horrific taste of strong alcohol. Well done sodium chloride and the lemon tree. I didn't manage to take a picture of my doing these shots because as I just said... I was doing the shots, but heres my friend instead :)

If you watch it backwards it's like she spits out the drink in disgust.

And that concludes my post!!!

VIVA MEXICO!!!

Credit to Gustavo Camacho for the above picture.